#hisoillu parenting AU

[flowerofthewave]

Parenting AU... Let's make a baby!

[jinxedfuture]

Even MORE hisoillu parents au. i love them too much

[mayxo-hxh]

How do you think hisoillu would be as parents ?

i see a lot people saying that they’re would be bad parents but I feel like it’s a misunderstanding of their personalities to affirm that

I mean, it heavily depends on what you consider to be good parenting lol. Are you going with our definition of good parenting or hxh's definition? Because our standards, well, yeah. theyre horrendous. but so would be every single parent/guardian in the series, including mito.

It's in the same sense of when someone asked me if Illumi was a bad brother. This was my answer

And I think the same will apply here. Would hisoillu be angel parents that never hurt or abuse their children? no. would their children still grow up to be extremely powerful and reliable and love their parents? yeah. would their own children consider them good parents? yeah.

At the end of the day, don't bother yourself overthinking something that might never happen in canon lol. Its called a parents au for a reason. Have fun, go wild, indulge! u wanna make them angel parents? Go ahead! whos gonna stop you?

[oakantony]

Horror Hisoillu for Spoopy Month

Here are some of my favorite bits of the horror short I'm writing for Patreon this month. You can sign up to read this story early, but it'll be on AO3 by the end of the month either way :)

An AU where the Zoldycks are aristocrats, not assassins:

Illumi moves into the once-abandoned room in the north wing of the Zoldyck manor and hears strange screams from the mountain’s peak each night. Sometimes, if he listens long enough, the sounds morph into unnatural laughter. But it’s nothing--the only things that lurk outside are foxes on a hunt. There’s nothing inhuman, calling for him, asking him to step into the dark.

Still, he steps.

Trigger warnings (from what I've written so far...) include cannibalism, monster fucking, shapeshifting cocks, sex during and after murder, canon-typical child abuse, and suicidal thoughts.

#

A fox, when cornered in a fight, has a voice that screams. It’s a horrible sound; like there’s a man out in the woods trapped in a dark, unfathomable horror. Like a man who can’t even speak out of his fear. Like a man that can do nothing but scream, scream, scream.

And the sound echoes. For miles, sometimes, if the wind catches it.

Illumi heard the sounds from his very first night inside his new room at the Zoldyck manor. It wasn’t a room he wanted--and the room, itself, seemed to share the sentiment. It had sat long abandoned in the north wing of their home, door closed, its few contents collecting a century’s worth of dust and spiders and rats. 

It was cleaned, of course, before Illumi moved in. His parents weren’t great providers, but they did employ an entire staff of butlers to keep their aristocratic children clean and fed.

Even with it prepared for his arrival, the room held onto a chill; the gray stone walls that rose fifteen feet into the air cared little for Illumi’s comfort, it seemed. Even after he lit a fire, heat seemed to whisper away, into nothingness, leaving him chilled and uncomfortable alone in his bed.

Alone--except for the sounds.

He could hear the foxes scream through his bedroom window--an enormous four-paned arch that was covered in a thick canopy of curtains. The sounds didn’t alarm him, at first, because he knew it had to be some animal in the woods. He searched it on his phone, after a time, and decided that yes--it was a fox. Maybe more than one.

But there was a small, unspoken part of him that thought there may be something unnatural out there. Screaming. The worst part was that sometimes--only sometimes--the scream would end in a laugh. A cackle. He ignored that part. 

#

The creature was upon him in a moment flat, before he could react, and he was thrown backwards, until he hit the tree hard enough to knock the air from his chest. He coughed, hands scrambling up to protect his face as the thing breathed hot, wet, bloody air against his skin.

“A hunter?” asked it.

“No,” said Illumi, his voice caught as he tried to get air into his body again. “I am from the manor.”

“A Zoldyck-k-k-k-ke-he-he he he he,” cackled the thing.

“Yes,” Illumi said. “You know of us.”

“Yes. We were fed one of you once. Sweet flesh.”

The horror that gripped Illumi could have made him spew sick all over the beast, if his body worked right. But instead, he continued to choke on air, and he shook his head. They had eaten a Zoldyck? When? Who?

Why?

“What are you,” Illumi asked, his chest burning for air.

“Foxes,” said the beast. It leaned in until its face touched the top of Illumi’s head and it breathed in, stirring his hair, and the thing shuddered. “Sweet smell. Sweet flesh. We’ll eat you tonight.”

Oh, how unfair. That he would die to a mysterious creature on some fall night; cold, away from a room he didn’t want, away from a family he didn’t love, on the land that didn’t belong to him.

#

The creature’s head rolled back and off its shoulders and into the earth below.

Illumi’s intake of air seemed stunningly loud to his ears. He stared forward until the other fox-beast stepped into his vision, front leg raised and pointed razor-sharp like the end of a sword. It had cut the thing’s head off.

The beast’s body finally collapsed away from Illumi, leaving him exposed to the moon, the air, and the one remaining…fox.

Its body cracked audibly as it morphed. Illumi couldn’t be sure he saw it right--some of the shapes were dark, shadowed, but after a moment, it looked more like a man than a beast. The limbs were still too long. He was at least seven feet tall, now. He--yes--he was naked, too. Illumi was too deeply shocked to react with more than a warming of his cheeks as the thing approached.

“Go home,” he said.

Illumi couldn’t move, at least not yet. But his mouth opened. “I--I do not understand.”

“I will eat on his flesh tonight. Not yours.”

“You eat your own?”

The fox-man’s head tilted curiously and a smile grew upon his angular lips. “You do not?”

“No.”

“But the humans taste so sweet. You don’t know?”

Illumi shook his head no this time.

“Do you want to know?”

Illumi paused. “You ask if I want to cannibalize other…people?” His heart leapt into his throat. “I don’t.”

A laugh erupted from the fox-man. “You do. You lie, but you do. You do wish to taste. You want to know if it’s as sweet as I say. It isss-s-s. Like ripened fruit. Like honey dripping from a hive--” He approached. 

As he got closer, Illumi could see his face with true clarity and the warm blush on his cheeks grew more intense. The fox-man was--severe-looking. Angular. Prominent cheekbones and glowing yellow eyes. And ruddy, red hair that fell against pale flesh. 

He was beautiful. His deep voice seemed to purr as he said, “Shall I feed you?”

[thefairestsex]

hisoillu and the zoldyck parents except they are kitties :D I have a master doc of this au for yall to read. its not quite done yet tho

[maraudingforflesh]

Hisoillu

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12386970/chapters/28182093

Shitsuji (21,225 words); au in which hisoka and illumi meet during a hunter exam and hisoka becomes a zoldyck butler

https://archiveofourown.org/series/2362555

order, except it’s chaos (series); meeting illumi’s parents doesn’t go well, but meeting his siblings goes slightly better for hisoka

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30739604/chapters/75867473

No × Matter × What (16,631 words); kikyo kills hisoka and illumi doesn’t take it well (y’all this one really fucked me up but it’s a damn good fic. Heed the trigger warnings carefully tho).

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30040629/chapters/73973073

When a puppet becomes selfaware (67,488 words); eating disorder recovery fic featuring illumi reconnecting with his siblings

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30323460/chapters/74745825

Your Love (35,829 words); illumi gets a do-over with his siblings thanks to memory loss

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27024538/chapters/65974240

Losing Game (47,463 words); kikyo and silva are punishing illumi using an incurable brain parasite that is slowly eroding his mental and motor functions

[somethingpoeticiguess]

uhhhhh Hunter x Hunter hogwarts au ig

this started bc i saw @hilenkychiki ’s recent art of hisoka and illumi

(anyone who’s been on my page for more than three seconds knows this is gonna be mostly about hisoillu)

- hisoka’s the quidditch captain for slytherin

- illumi’s the slytherin prefect

- they regularly hide behind the quidditch stands and make out before/after matches

- illumi could definitely play on the quidditch team, he has the talent, but his family believes that quidditch is a waste of time

- without fail illumi’s at every single one of hisoka’s matches quietly cheering him on from the stands

- in their third year they took divination together where they had a very awkward experience involving soulmates and tea leaves

- they began dating in their fifth year

- if you think hisoka isn’t constantly dragging illumi on fred and george like endevours you’re sorely mistaken

- i have a very specific imagine of hisoka grabbing illumi’s hand and them running down the corridors in the dungeon with illumi’s hair and robes flowing behind him

- YULE BALL YULE BALL YULE BALL

- hisoka and illumi go together as “friends”

- hisoka does illumi’s hair for the occasion 🥺

- hisoka forces him onto the dance floor ofc

-they have study sessions in the common room (mostly illumi desperately trying to teach hisoka a weeks worth of material in two hours bc he never pays attention in class and he’ll get kicked off the quidditch team if he fails)

- this is a weekly occurrence

- HISOKA TYING ILLUMI’S HAIR BACK WITH GREEN RIBBONS WHILE HE STUDIES this has nothing to do with hp i just like this hc

- imagine them dueling omg

- i feel like it’d be really close every time but i think illumi would win most of the time because he has the technique down to a T while hisoka relies on talent and strength

- look at our studious boy go 🥺

- the zoldyck parents are definitely death eaters

- like silva is literally lucius malfoy

- THEY GO ON HOGSMEADE DATES OMG

-Gon, Killua, Kurapika, and Leorio are all in Gryffindor

- while hisoka and illumi are seventh years leorio’s a fifth year, kurapika’s a fourth year, and gon and killua are both first years

- milluki is also there in his sixth year in ravenclaw

- the troupe is also there and they’re scattered across all four houses and all seven years

- i’m just realizing that hisoka and illumi are power couple goals in this universe

- quidditch captain + prefect 🤭

- illumi’s really good at potions

- hisoka and illumi like to chill by the black lake together and do work/talk/eat snacks

-it’s their spot

[xiu21chen99]

wait wait wait i kinda want a Titanic au for hisoillu where the Zoldycks aren't assassins but just top class business men and the Black Whale is the ship that sinks (not that we know of that yet) and Hisoka boarded bc he's being hunted by the mafia (the ryodan) AND I WANT THIS/ THINK THIS PROMPT WILL WORK FOR FOUR VERY SPECIFIC REASONS:

ONE ARTIST HISOKA! Like,, COME ON, (honorable mention but-) if you read Cigarette Teeth by hisokun then you would know exactly what a painter/ artist Hisoka would look like and why i fIND HIM SO DAMN APPEALING

TWO this is kinda a painful reason and image to think about but during the scene Rose was supposed to jump, y'know their very first meet? yeah, Illumi was about to do jump off of the balcony railing in deck 3 too, but Hisoka has been sneaking around jumping from deck to deck and he finds Illumi there

since i like adding fuel to my sad boi fires how bout we add that Hisoka is a bit of an asshole at their first meeting, and talked to Illumi while he literally held on for dear life; Hisoka would psychoanalyze Illumi, make fun of him a lil bc he's rich and he's "from a well off family so why the hell do you wanna do this?" to which Illumi promptly and quite incompletely explains why being the eldest Zoldyck son was the worst thing ever...

they talk like that until Hisoka starts hearing ppl and he deadass goes over behind Illumi and says "okay princess, the ship's about to wake up soon. let's get you back to your upper deck."

and Illumi struggles bc suddenly he remembers why he was there in the first place.

h: "you don't wanna jump,"

i: "yes i do"

h: "nah, princess, you want the people who hurt you to get hurt back. jumping off ain't gonna solve anything. come on,"

hisoka lifts illumi from the railing, flipping detaches him and carries him over one shoulder, illu's hair cascading down in silky black waves (also rmmbr that hc where illu's kinda weak combat wise? xD yeah let's apply that too since this is a no-nen world)

THREE the quotes would work so well!!

i: "you're crazy!!"

h: "with all due respect, pretty darling, i'm not the one hanging off of the railing of a whale boat"

i: "I know what you must be thinking. “Poor little rich boy, what does he know about misery?”"

h: "No, no, that’s not what I was thinking. What I was thinking was, what could’ve happened to this boy to make him think he had no way out?"

h: “I mean, I got everything I need right here with me. I got air in my lungs, a few blank sheets of paper. I mean, I love waking up in the morning not knowing what’s gonna happen or, who I’m gonna meet, where I’m gonna wind up. Just the other night I was sleeping under a bridge and now here I am on the grandest ship in the world having champagne with you fine people.”

i: "hisoka, i'm flying!"

i: "paint me like your-

h: “They’ve got you trapped, Illu. And you’re gonna die if you don’t break free. Maybe not right away because you’re strong but sooner or later that fire that I love about you… that fire’s gonna burn out.”

i: “I saw my whole life as if I’d already lived it. An endless parade of parties and cotillions, yachts and polo matches. Always the same narrow people, the same mindless chatter. I felt like I was standing at a great precipice, with no one to pull me back."

(ffff the shoe fits so well for this one but) i: “Now you know there was a man named Hisoka Morow, and that he saved me in every way that a person can be saved. I don’t even have a picture of him. He exists now only in my memory.”

and FOUR we get an image of Illu who didn't submit to his parents' will, an Illu that wanted to save himself instead of letting go of his identity to please others. ain't that what we all want? He'd make a pretty good Rose! on the other hand we have the free and elusive Hisoka, here i think he'd perfectly fit the character for Jack; loose with connections, all about living the moment and have been through hell and back but still has a skip in his step and a smile on his face. like, siR-

(bonus if Killu meets the squad there too! and the 6 out of 1500 that Older Rose talked abt who survived would be the gon squad + hisoillu or... whoever you prefer would survive :'))

anyways I'm @ chap 383 on the manga don't spoil anything for me please-

[todokori-kun]

WELCOME BACK!

 <3 I really missed you, and it’s so great to hear you had fun! (and omg yes so ready to see all those beautiful pics)

Yaaayyyy join me in MCU feels hell. And oooh, you have a ship for the fandom now! Like, Stoki’s still my favorite Steve pairing but Stony’s really cool too…you know I ship almost everything XD (also am I the only person who sorta hated almost everyone by the end of CW? Like, of course they’re still my favs and there are still some cinnamon rolls, but, come on. Why couldn’t you all just get along ;-;)

Speaking of Illumi, do you know that Hisoka/Illumi is an incredibly popular ship in the HxH fandom? Probably because both of them are so horrible that they have like 0 friends other than each other. Nobody else wants to hang out with these losers. (Chrollo tolerates Hisoka and the adults in Illumi’s family seem to spend enough time with him to give him orders, but that’s about it.) It’s a trash ship with two trashy people and tbh I love it XD

So continuing with the eye jokes, imagine. Hisoillu version of Helpless. Hisoillu version of Satisfied.

“Look into his eyes and the sky’s the limit”

“Intelligent eyes in a hunger-pang frame”

(I know you did thise one before but still) “But when I fantasize at night, it’s Illumi’s eyes”

just, I’m imagining animatics for this with the ‘camera’ zooming in on Illumi’s dead fish eyes every time the lyrics mention them. It’s hilarious and also mildly terrifying

(though I guess if we’re actually making a Hamilton AU Hisoka’s way more likely to do something like Say No To This…)

idk if I’d want to be a parent either really LOL. Kids are adorable but I don’t think I’ll ever be responsible enough to raise one…

If Ishida makes a plot twist or something about it being someone else pretending to be Hide I'm actually gonna get mad. Dude. Not only would that bring the Hide feels right back it’d just make absolutely no sense omg

(also you read the new chapter, right? So, let’s talk about Juuzou and that huge death flag)

I’ve heard of Soul Eater and considered reading it but it’s not really the kind of thing I’m into…artwork’s cute, though, and Death the Kid seems like an interesting guy so maybe someday XD

AGH I’M ACTUALLY SORTA JEALOUS BECAUSE WOW I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW TO WATCH THAT LEGALLY HERE IN KOREA. (unless I ask my dad for help but he doesn’t like manga/anime at all, so…) But yes, I’m really happy Lizzy finally got her moment this time! Now anime-only fans can’t complain about her being a ‘shallow’ character so hopefully there’ll be less fighting over Lizzy in the Kuro fandom :D

FINALLY. Fellow Death Note fan <3333 Who’s your fav? Do you have any ships? Are you done with the anime??? :D (also do you know…you picked a really interesting time to join the DN fandom. The American live-action movie just came out and it sucks so freaking bad, like I haven’t even watched it yet and just from the reviews/clips, here’s what I got:

-They turned Misa into this Harley Quinn-type character. Only without any depth.

-Light/Misa is an actual canon ship, like, it’s not abusive or one-sided like it is in the anime/manga, it’s just…a thing. Light loves Misa. Misa loves Light. It’s like every cringey high school romance movie ever, only with more murder

-They freaking bent the Death Note rules just so Light could get away with all sorts of ridiculous stuff

-L cries, L rants, L is overly emotional

-Light tells L where he hid a page from his Death Note. Light doesn’t deny being Kira. Light shows Misa his Death Note when they like barely know each other and she’s still a complete stranger to him. Light acts like an idiot.

-Oh sure, he’s Kira, God of the New World, but he still cares about going to prom with his girlfriend and making stupid faces as they pose for pictures

-So much unnecessary gore. Heart attacks are Kira’s thing, Light isn’t that emotional about his kills, he doesn’t care as long as the 'villains’ are dead, so why???

-Apparently Rem does not exist. Sayu doesn't exist either. Light’s mom is dead (probably so he can angst over her)

-Light Turner. Light TURNER. Out of all the surnames they could have chosen…

-And now, for the most unforgivable sin:

How dare they not include the Potato Chip scene)

And then random things: JJ and Light have the same voice actor. Yurio and Mello (imo…have you met Mello yet?) could be long-lost twins.

Also:

I’ve fallen into Steven Universe hell and now I’m imagining so. Many. Gem AUs. Have you ever heard of SU?

(look:

1- don’t stress about the messages, and come on, I’d never get mad at you over something like this! You’re way too awesome.

2-  I don’t really know what to say 'cause I’m bad at comforting people, but ugh, it sucks to hear that school’s tiring you out! Queen Luna’s gonna get through this, though. I mean, you’re great at so many things and you’re freaking smart and…this is awkward but maybe you understand Evans Language by now? XD Guess I’m just trying to say that I’m sure you’ll do great, and if you ever need someone to talk to I’m (almost) always free *hugs*

3- Um. So, other than tumblr, I think the only way I can talk with you right now is if we email each other? The email address I used this time is my real one (or rather, my dad’s, since I don’t have one of my own yet…) so maybe we can talk about this more through email and find a better way to contact each other? If that’s ok with you can you send me a message there?)

P.S:

I’ve started college and have no idea what I’m doing

*slams head against keyboard* guess who managed to get sick. It’s only been a week since school started. Whatever, I’m still going to school, but I woke up breathing like a fish on land, bc asthma. Yay.

I’m definitely gonna upload the pics today!!

Okay, but one thing I’m wondering about, is How? Not in a malicious way or anything, I’m genuinely curious to why you ship Stoki (and where it began). Was it that redemption fic you told me about or did you ship it before? 

Tbh, I didn’t hate the characters in CW, I hated the situation. Because there’s so so much pointless conflict that could easily be solved if everyone sat down and talked like normal people. But nooo we have to go around attacking each other. ((ALSO CAP’S LETTER TO TONY, I AM DEAD))

I’ve already learned (and experienced) that shipping is a very weird and unusual thing, so I’ll be honest and say I’m not even surprised that ship exists. At least it has some basis XD

I’m actually tempted to go through the lyrics of the whole musical and find every single eye line there is, only to replace it w Illumi’s eyes.

Not only zooming in on the eyes, the word itself is louder than the rest XD man if only I could draw…

Tbh I’d say I’m responsible enough (HA, that’s more or less a lie), but I’m honestly way too irritated with the little ones to be able to have one of my own. My cousin recently celebrated her 3rd bday and I was stuck looking after her during the party, bc all the adults were talking among themselves and I swear to god, I haven’t moved that much since I had to run 2km for PE. Where do they get their energy. Not to mention the adults thought it would be a good idea to leave me w her, because I’d already drunk 3 glasses of wine (i was bored and not allowed to do anything other than stare at emptiness or look after a 3yo). Turns out my tolerance isn’t that bad after all.

Lol let’s be honest, Ishida would totally do that. He knows the fandom would riot and that’s the whole point.

All the death flags. Tbh I don’t know how I feel about it. It’s obvious that either Touka or Juuzou are probably gonna die and I wan’t neither (If I have to choose tho, I’d rather Juuzou survives.) Also Naki. HNNNNNNGH

I think you’d actually like the manga? It takes a pretty dark turn compared to the anime and deals with lots of mental issues (the whole theme of the later volumes is Madness). Also, lots of death XD Well, the artwork changes drastically, so which one are you talking about XD

The girl in the coat (left first pic, middle 2nd) is the same person for reference. Death the Kid was one of my first anime crushes. The guy has OCD and is a total badass. 

MUHAHAHAHA I think someone uploaded the Lizzy fight to youtube so you can probably find it there, but I am in love. The animation is beautiful, so that’s also a huge plus. All in all, it was handled really well.

Death Note

So last I’ve watched is ep 25, aka the one WHERE L DIES. And i am not okay. I am nowhere near okay. Nope. Not at all.

Oh i’ve heard all about the adaptation. Tbh I find the whitewashing hilarious. Setting the movie in America removes so much of the series’s logic, so why? L being the way he is is probably my favourite mistake. They took the best character and ruined him completely.  POTATO CHIP SCENE NOOOO But my question is: did everything go just according to the keikaku?

Have fun w SU! I’ve watched it for a while, but gave up at some point. I might pick it up again if I have the time ^^ Word of advice, watch out for the fandom, they’re among the most toxic ones I’ve ever encountered. One time, they almost drove an artist to suicide because she didn’t draw Rose ‘thick enough’. So yeah.

What did I do to deserve you as my friend TT^TT Thank you so so much, those words mean more than you can imagine.

Um. Looks like we’ll be staying here, because I never, ever check my mail, despite getting school assignments there, so yeah. If we used mail, you’d probably get a response every leap year.

How does the education system work in Korea? Like, at what age do you start going to which school?

Also, I’ve told you about Mystic Messenger? I think you’d like the newest update, because damn, it’s creeping me out. Also, it’s in Korean, so + ((My thoughts during the prologue of the new route: Nani the fuck))

[flowerofthewave]

Day 7 & 8 - Pie & Decor

[flowerofthewave]

Cookie 🥺

[flowerofthewave]

Baking 🃏📍

[flowerofthewave]

Let's make our own mistakes.

for @greedislandchallenge

[flowerofthewave]

Parenting AU ❤️ with testimonials by @karinhart

[jinxedfuture]

more silly hisoillu parents au shenanigans. ill write their story one day. possibly in the form of one shots tbh lol

[jinxedfuture]

Parenting 101